It's All About MOMS

So it's still May - MOMS month - there's alliteration. I can't believe it's taken me so long to get back to this. I have in the meantime, for those who may not know, put on a convention and started a weekly email newsletter for MOMS (a whole new learning curve for me). I do need to remind myself that it doesn't take all day to update this. Hopefully, I'll get better at it.

So back to the MOMS month. There was a time when I wondered why we - who rule the world - (you know "hand that rocks the cradle") only get one day a year. On the other hand one day to feel guilty as I compare myself to all the great moms - (who are so much closer to perfect than me) - is probably more than enough.

I remember all those Mothers' Days, sitting in church listening to husbands and sons brag about their perfect moms who apparently never raised their voices, were always happy, had a balanced meal on the table every night, always had a clean house and they came home to fresh laundry neatly folded in the drawers and the smell of homemade bread. I definately did not measure up. However, I did come to realize that either those sons and husbands put blinders on or had selective memory. I was always relieved when my husband and children were not asked to share their favorite mothers moment.

I knew that all of my children would share the most recent episode of being left stranded at soccer practice til way after dark - long after all the rest of the team was picked up or confess to eating pizza 3 nights a week (only so we could support all 3 schools they went to at the time for pizza night) and searching through the laundry basket, ususally still in the Laundry room for clean clothes. That's probably only the tip of the iceberg they would probably say now. That's the challenge of having adult children. They also seem to have selective memory and unlike those Mother's Day Dads' they seem to remember the imperfect things.

Regardless, I still love being a MOM. These days I can defend myself with the best of them. I don't do GUILT! I have gained the perspective that there are no PERFECT MOMS. There are lots of Moms who are trying each day to be the best they can be (I hear another slogan coming). As I watch young Moms today I am amazed at their abilities and energy. (I have a hard time remembering the energy most of all).
Congratulations and Happy Mothers Month (that's the least we should have) to all of you still fixing daily meals, folding laundry at midnight, picking up countless toys (that grandma has supplied you with), cheering your Soccer kids on, delivering your children to and from school and tying to squeeze a few minutes of alone time!. You are the BEST!

Don't forget it! Stop comparing yourself to the perfect MOM who doesn't exist!

So back to my Mothers Day. The beautiful flowers on this page were delivered to me - from my kids. I'd love if we could all be together more often but beautiful flowers are a pretty good alternative. Thanks to my wonderful children who make it possible for me to be a MOM. That really is JOY!
Cherish these moments with your kids - they slip away too fast!

Checking it Twice

It's been awhile since I got back to this blog. I've been busy multi-tasking - something all moms are familiar with. It made me think back when I was a young mom and trying to juggle lots of things with kids and church and being a good friend. So to my random thought for this week.
I was the leader of the women's organization at church and got a call from a lady in California and asked to check on her sister who had a 19 month old and was expecting triplets. I visited her before and after the babies were born and needless to say with 4 children under 2 she was overwelmed. Thus came my year of mothering triplets one day a week. (A whole other story for the future)
(Let me just say. the first advice I gave this young mom was to not worry about daily baths for every baby - I'm pretty sure that going 2 or 3 days without a bath doesn't hurt any baby.)
Back to my story. I had a very good friend who lived down the street. She was an amazing morning person (which I'm not). By the time I was up and moving (or actually making conversation) she had been up several hours, cleaned her house, scrubbed her floor and done all the dishes (I don't always get all that done with no one making messes here but me)
Anyway, because I had triplets at my house every Tuesday I got lots of visitors to help hold babies. Cathy came over most days and usually lamented that she felt like she never accomplished anything. Now that's an easy way to feel when you have little ones who can mess things up as fast as you can clean them, but I was amazed that she felt that way because I saw her as incredible at getting things done.
I have always made lists. Not fancy lists - just lists in a small notebook. Sometimes, even still, when I accomplish something and it's not on my list I add it so I can check it off - thus the title checking it twice. There's something fulfilling about being able to check off what you've gotten done. That's the advice I shared with Cathy and would pass along now. If you are not a list maker, start now. It doesn't have to be quite as detailed as my husbands or as long term as his. He calls it goal setting (he has a 6 month, one year, 5 year plan) Setting goals is good too but I'm talking about everyday - things you do over and over - new things to accomplish kind of list. Maybe you just need to photocopy things you do every day but the idea is that you can see what you've accomplished. Then KEEP THE LISTS - maybe not forever but at least for a few weeks or months. Maybe make yourself a file folder - MY LISTS.
I still find JOY when I look back over my "checked off lists". A mom needs to see that she is making progress, that she's actually getting some things done. Another benefit is that when your husband comes home from work and you are having your first sit down rest of the day (that's almost always when he comes in) and asks what you have been doing all day, you can just hand him the list. :)
Recognize that you are amazing and accomplishing the most important thing on your list - loving your children like no one else can! That is the ultimate JOY!

Discovery

I love being a MOM! I love the name Mom! My grandma was known as Mom to all of her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren and she's one of the most special people in my life. I always thought I was her favorite but found out later that all of her grandkids felt that way. She was a great Mom and when I grew up I wanted to be just like her.

I had a friend in high school who had the middle name JOY. I loved that name and have a daugther I passed that name to and she in turn has passed that along to her daughter. Both have the middle name JOY - which best describes who they are, not only to me, but to others -

JOYS!

I've always felt blessed to have the opportunity to be a Mom and always wanted to help other MOMS see how lucky they were as well. Thus, the title Discover the JOY - discover the JOY in life, in friendship but mostly in motherhood. Sometimes it's easy to see the JOY, sometimes it takes looking through the clouds of life to find it and sometimes it means taking the time to Create the JOY.

This blog will be about remembering the Joys of being a Mom at all the different stages & sharing a few tips I learned through experience. It will also be about new things I'm learning as a grandma - since I'm now a Grandma to 5 delightful grandchildren and MOM to 4 wonderful children and their spouses. It will be about sharing the joys I've found along the way and about how we all might create more joy in our journey.

When I was a young Mom in Louisana, 2000 miles away from extended family, I discovered American Mothers - (which I've been a part of for 28 years now - more about that organization later - ) Back then I had two preschoolers, most of the neighbors on the street worked and I was a stay at home mom. An older Mom at church was honored as the "Mother of the Year" for the state of Louisiana and said I should start a Young Mothers Study group - which I did. I invited friends and neighbors and we began studying parenting books together. I don't remember so much about what we studied but I do remember the joys we shared as MOMS. I found that by sharing our experiences as young moms that we all enjoyed our own children even more. We discovered we were in the same boat and could laugh at the hard times easier because we had someone to laugh with. From that point on I felt a desire to help Moms around me recognize the great blessing it is to be a MOM and discover the JOY.

I'm new at blogs, but hope that as I discover the JOY in this journey, those who read this will feel free to ask questions and share their experiences and JOYS as well. If I don't have an answer I will ask friends to share as well as those who view this blog. We all have experiences every day that we learn from and we may be a resource to another MOM. I'm looking forward to this new experience (outside my comfort zone) and hope we can all -

Discover and Create More JOY together!